(I wrote this back in January 2015!)
Hello!
Eek! Even though part of me would like to hide under the covers instead, I’m running my first free live webcast tomorrow at 10am (Sydney time)!
FREE WEBCAST: Nourish your Needs (without Neglecting your children!)
So, why am I doing it, when a part of me feels scared?
It’s because I have a passion to encourage mothers to find new ways of relating to their needs.
It’s because my life is completely different when I’m nourishing my needs, and I imagine it’s the same with you.
We all have differing needs at different times.
And at the moment, my need, passion and love is to help make a difference to mothers. And at the moment, that’s through writing emails, running this webcast, and birthing my Love Being a Mother online course.
For you it might be having enough sleep, exercise, nourishment or creativity, or a million other things.
I remember 10 years ago, when my daughter was 3 and my son wasn’t yet born. I had been dedicated to my daughter – had put every bit of my time into caring for her. And I had ignored my own needs. I was burnt out, flat, and lacking in passion.
I loved ice skating, so I asked her dad if he would look after her for half a day once a week so that I could go ice-skating again.
And I came alive again. I reconnected to parts of me I had left behind when I became a mother. I reconnected with my body, my love of music, and myself. And of course, as a result, I had so much more to give her.
Fast forward 10 years, and the last few months of last year, and things were pretty rough. Something just wasn’t right. My daughter and I were disconnected, my son was hitting and disconnected. I kept trying to connect with them more, give them more, be more. I tried to be like my dear friend who is an amazing mum. I felt so desperate. My children were fighting with each other nearly all of the time. I couldn’t believe how terrible everything felt.
The more I tried to be a ‘better’ mother, the more nothing seemed to change.
Still the disconnection, the fighting, the hitting.
Then, at the beginning of January, I finally started to put my Love Being a Mother Course out into the world. I’d written it more than a year before, but I didn’t have the beliefs and technical knowledge to get it out into the world. And now I did have those things to add to my desire and vision – I also had the belief that I could, and the technical know-how.
I changed my life. I started getting up at least 2 hours before my children every morning, to write newsletters and articles. I did 30 minutes of present time every morning with both of them. (something that I’d been wanting to do for the previous 6 months, but just couldn’t seem to do!)
And we generally have an hour all together on devices each day.
Their shared care with their dad and sibling-mother has always been very flexible. I asked if they would look after my children every weekend, for both days, so that I could work on my course.
And since then, EVERYTHING has changed. I have fallen in love with my children again, and they seem to quite like me too!
I feel deeply connected with them both.
My son immediately stopped hitting and has gone back to chatting, smiling, cuddling and being happy.
My daughter has been chatty with me, and has actually been willing to do present time with me (which she would avoid like the plague before).
The fighting between them has almost completely gone; instead they spend hours a day playing together, laughing, and having fun.
Last week my daughter spent hours helping my son with his structured learning. She was gentle and loving, he was interested and concentrating.
I am close to tears writing this. I had thought that it could never go back to this – (they used to be like this together; they used to be this happy and connected).
I was in so much pain because I thought this kind of life was lost forever.
I thought we would have disconnection, hitting and fighting forever.
I have my children back.
I have myself back.
And it all came with a flick of a switch, which was me finally doing what I really really wanted to do, really listening to myself, and acting in alignment with that.
I feel more energised, excited, exuberant and grateful than I have in years.
I believe that our children are DEEPLY AFFECTED by how we relate to our needs, passions, dreams, values, and vision.
If we are NOT LIVING these things, they will show us.
I believe that my son was hitting me, and my daughter was disconnected from me, because they were both reflecting how much I was hurting myself by not being true to myself, and by being disconnected from myself.
And I believe that it is deeply painful for our children to see us doing that to ourselves.
They WANT US to BE TRUE TO OURSELVES, so that THEY CAN BE TRUE TO THEMSELVES.
It WASN’T ABOUT TRYING HARDER to give them more. That led to nothing.
What led to transformation in our family was me listening to myself.
Me following my inner compass, which is to help co-create a new world where mothers listen to themselves, their needs, their passions, where we let go of guilt and self-punishment.
Where we value ourselves and each other.
Where we respect ourselves and each other.
Where we own our power, and our beauty.
And of course, in order to really help other mothers do that, I really needed to do that for myself!!!
So, here I am, standing in front of you, inviting you to take whatever step is next on your path to nourish your needs, your values, your vision, your passion, your purpose.
And if I can be of service to you in some way of another, I would love to encourage you.
If you feel called to do more with me, come and join in with the free webcast tomorrow. Click on this link to listen to the webcast, or to be reminded of it, or to listen to the replay.
It will also be your last opportunity to write answers there about the Love Being a Mother Course which starts on Monday.
Sometimes listening to our needs, our passions, our calling, can feel really scary.
But nourishing them brings gifts beyond anything you could even imagine.
I’m here standing in front of you offering my life’s gift.
Give your gift. Meet your needs. Live your passion. Love your life.
You CAN do it!
If I can do it, the little shy girl with no confidence that I used to be, then you can do whatever it is that you need.
You can ask for help so that you can have a lie-in.
You can get support so that you can go to that yoga class.
You can carve out time for yourself to start writing that blog.
You can find the money to start up that business idea you’ve had in your vision for years.
You can.
And I send you so much love and blessings on your journey, however it looks.
And if any of what I say or do resonates with you, then come and join me on the webcast tomorrow, or listen to the recording.
And if you’re sitting on the fence about the Love Being a Mother course, then I trust that when you really listen to yourself, you will know the answer.
Love,
Marion
xxxxx