Todayt, I want to share some of the ways I invite The Marion Method to support transformation in my mentoring practice.
I wonder if you’ve found yourself either:
❀ Valuing the feelings of the younger parts of you, and the painful feelings you felt growing up, YET feeling endlessly stuck in them;
or
❀ Looking from a bigger perspective and understanding why your parents did what they did, AND judging or denying painful feelings from the past when they show up?
What I love about The Marion Method psychospiritual approach is that it has trifocal vision.
Have you ever seen those trifocal glasses?
This approach is a bit like that!
♡ 1
On one level, this means having deep and unconditional love and listening to all the feelings that show up from the younger parts of us.
This means not only listening to our inner children’s feelings and thoughts, but hearing what they needed to say at the time and didn’t ever get to say, and responding to them in the ways that they were longing to receive.
This starts off as a process with someone else, and gradually we can internalise those experiences so that we have more and more capacity to listen lovingly to those younger parts from our own Inner Loving Presences.
♡ 2
From another perspective, we have increasing capacity to see our parents as humans with their own hurts that they received in the family and culture that they grew up in.
> This compassionate understanding comes organically – this is really important, that we don’t coerce ourselves to feel loving and understanding. In fact, the more the younger parts of us get to be lovingly heard, the more likely it is that this compassionate understanding of our parents and other adults around us is revealed.
Because this is an organic process, as our capacity to understand, see the bigger picture of, and have compassion for, our parents and other adults around us comes in, we aren’t spiritual or mental bypassing.
Our I – our Soul can rest in the love that we are, feeling both deep loving compassion for feelings that show up at any time from the younger parts of us, as well as us feeling loving compassion for those that did things that hurt us.
As our identity as Love AND Will increases, this often means that we come to a point of not being willing to put those younger parts in positions where they will be hurt in the same way over and over again.
For example, say one of your parents has never had the capacity to hear your feelings, be present with you, or offer you empathy.
And yet, the younger parts of you keep on trying to receive empathy from that parent. Perhaps you have repeated conversations where you are not heard.
There often comes a time, and it’s a big transition when we realise that we are the ones putting those younger parts in that position again and again when it’s clear that our parent doesn’t (yet) have the capacity to meet the needs of our younger parts.
It’s there where we generally need to mourn that loss and be unwilling to put those younger parts of us in that position ever again and to be willing to find people who can meet those needs, and increase our capacity to meet those needs ourselves.
That is where our own Inner Loving Parents become the parents of our inner children.
That is where our Inner Loving Parents listen to the feelings and needs of those younger parts of us.
That is where we finally hear the, “I’m listening, I’m here with you,” that we have been longing for all this time.
And again, we generally need to have received that from someone outside us. We need an Outer Loving Crew who have heard us, who have given us loving empathy so that we can internalise that.
That is a key part of the mentoring work I do. To give people loving compassion, which they internalise, so that they can increasingly identify with their true lovingness, and give compassion to their younger parts from there.
At this point, there is often a deep sense of standing in our power as a Soul, as Love and Will, in being willing to be responded to with loving compassion, and in being unwilling to be treated in harsh or reactive ways.
♡ 3
And what is the third of the trifocal lenses?
This is going out another step again – whilst still including loving compassion for the younger parts of us, and organic understanding for those that hurt us / and unwillingness to be still hurt.
This is where we see the bigger picture of our Soul’s journey.
Where we see how the themes of our lives are part of something much bigger and longer and wider.
We see the purpose of our Soul growing up in that family, and how that fits with our Soul’s callings.
The pain becomes meaningful and not in vain (and again, without ever spiritual bypassing – at any moment, we may need to hear the deep grief, outrage or terror of those younger parts of us).
The paradox is, that the more we have this bigger context, and we’re not spiritually bypassing, the more this gives us a container to listen to the younger parts of us and the hurts, without losing ourselves or forgetting that we are also powerful and loving beings.
Because the centre of our identity is less and less centred in our inner children, and more and more in our Soul, in our true nature as Love and Will – as a powerful and compassionate being who is here for a purpose, and whose experiences are all part of a meaningful journey, and thus we can attend to our younger parts from there.
♡ Holding these three lenses makes such a difference to life. ❀
We can know when younger parts show up, and either listen to them from our own Inner Loving Presences or our Soul-Self, or be free to ask someone who has capacity to listen, to listen to us and give us what we need.
We understand the bigger and longer-term picture of our family and ancestors and lineage, and the themes carried down the line, and how that affected our parents, and in turn, us.
We increasingly centre our identity as a Soul, which paradoxically means that we can unconditionally love our personality, the younger parts of us, our repression and protection processes, and all the ways we adapted to be safe, belong and be loved.
I’ve also found that the paradox is, that as we have an internal dialogue full of compassionate capacity to listen to our own younger parts, unwilling to put them in repeated painful scenarios, and having organic compassion for our parents as well as clear Neo No’s, we may find that those outer relationships DO shift and change, often in dramatic ways.
♡ I wonder if you resonate?
I wonder if you see yourself on this journey?
I love being on this journey.
I love seeing women I mentor on this journey.
And I’m excited imagining those who are going to become Marion Method Mentors and support others in their journey.
Big love xoxo