I’ve just returned from three days in Sydney, where I had a wonderful time; going on home visits to families, facilitating some Loving Being a Mother groups, and spending time with two of my dearest friends – one of whom has just had a baby, and the other whom was visiting town to launch her second book. I felt so inspired seeing my two friends and their amazing achievements. They have inspired me to be more and do more as a mother.
Being more and doing more as a mother can be a juggle, as I imagine you might have experienced! I’d love to share an experience I had last week as I was writing my last newsletter to you.
I had woken up at 6am to write it; I thought I’d have a couple of hours before my children woke up. I brought my computer back to bed and started typing. Within 5 minutes, my eight year old son woke up. Usually I would close my laptop straight away to connect with him.
However, today, something different happened. And it was no accident that I was sharing my willingness practice video with you, which is all about our willingness to have both our needs and our children’s needs met.
This time, he got up and started playing with our new puppy on the bed. He was laughing and joyfully engaged, so I kept on writing. I talked to him and responded, but kept writing.
A few minutes later, my twelve year old daughter came in and cuddled up next to me in bed, and we chatted for a bit. I told her I was learning a new thing – how to embed a video in my newsletter. And for the next couple of hours, that’s what happened. My son kept playing with the puppy, laughing, with me chatting to him at intervals. He even had a beautiful five minute cry at one point, with me there giving him empathy.
My daughter sat beside me, cuddling and asking questions about what I was doing, and helping me learn about embedding and computer code. It was lots of fun, interesting and creative.
As all this was happening, I realised that this is what I have been longing for, and intending – a way for all these needs to get met all at once. For deep connection, for fun and laughter and learning and contribution. For so long I have been playing with how I can be the kind of parent I want to be, who offers presence and connection and fun and learning to my kids, to listen to their feelings, whilst they are learning at home, and whilst I contribute what I love in the world. That morning, all those were happening together effortlessly. And I saw that they came from my willingness for us all to get our needs met, rather than me working out ways for that to happen.
If you’d like to see my willingness practice video, the link is here.
I’d love to hear about the times when you have beautiful experiences of everyone getting their needs met.