lovingbeing@iinet.net.au

What kind of life do you love?

Sep 14, 2015 | Aware Parenting, Get Free From Guilt, Honouring Mothers, Screens | 0 comments

Hello!

I don’t know how old your child is, or your children are.

But I know that those early parenting years fly by.

The days might seem long sometimes, but the years are short.

Can you feel, right now, how much you adore your child/ren?

How, when everything else is stripped away, your life has been transformed since you had them?

Your heart has grown bigger, and stronger.

Your love is more unconditional than you thought possible.

And yet at times, we can forget the magic.

We get tired, frustrated, grumpy, powerless, and disconnected.

I look back at my years of being a mother and I cannot believe that nearly 14 years have passed.

I remember seeing my daughter for the first time as if it were yesterday.

And I look back on the struggles, the disconnected parts, the frustrations, with sad compassion.

I’ve become more human, more accepting of my blind spots, more compassionate with myself when I haven’t lived up to my values.

And yet I keep striving for more.

And I imagine you feel similarly.

That passion, that adoration, and at times the frustration and disconnection.

And that is why I make online courses.

It’s my passion to help parents – particularly mothers – find more of the compassion, and more of the connection.

So that we really can make the most of the magic.

So that we can make the most of every moment.

So that, when they leave home, we know that we did all we could at the time.

And I know for me, screens has been one of the places that there’s been confusion, cloudiness, and prickly paths through dark forests.

I’ve been permissive at times.

I’ve been frustrated at times.

Many times I’ve lost my way.

Many times I’ve got lost in that dark forest of my own childhood feelings about screens, or my own feelings of loss of separation.

I’ve used screens to avoid connection.

And I’ve used screens to create deep meaning and community.

I’ve lost a friend through our differences in screen values.

And I’ve made many many friends through screens.

And one day, I suddenly receive an impulse to make a course about screens, from an Aware Parenting perspective.

It was one of those things that just came to me.

As if I received it, ready-made.

I knew straight away what the logo would be – like a rainbow.

And the content just poured out of me.

Unlike my other courses, I wrote it all before I launched it.

And I went through all the exercises, all the self-reflections, all the material, myself.

I love my kids so much.

And I want to be as clear about screens as I can be.

I want to know how to get back on to the path when I get lost in the forest.

I want to know how to get back on my path when the darkness of my old feelings come to visit.

And that is what making, and doing, this course has done for me.

Although most of what I have written is not new for me,

Putting it into a format,

Going through a process,

Has given me a clarity about screens that I haven’t had before.

I feel at peace with screens.

Since I’ve done the course, I’ve started veering off my path a few times, and I’ve known how to get out of the forest and back to my path.

It’s really important to me that I do what I can to be as clear as I can be.

And that I’m compassionate with myself on those darker days.

And whether or not you are interested in screens, and whether or not you are interested in this course, I want to honour you for all that you do for your children.

All those practical things, yes,

But all the soul-searching, all the learning, and evolving, and growing that you do.

All the working out – “is this thing how it seems to be? How can I most helpfully respond here?”

Being a mother is a sacred gift.

And however apparently mundane the things we are dealing with are,

Each day with our child/ren is a miracle.

It’s easy to see that on the day of their birth,

But that miracle is still there, even when they are watching a screen.

When we can find that beautiful connection with our child/ren, in the middle of the mundane, that’s where there’s magic.

Connection when they’re building a tower of blocks.
Connection when they’re telling us about the programme they watched.
Connection when we’re watching them learn to walk.
Connection when we watch a family movie together.
Connection when we chase each other around the house.
Connection when they tell us about a screen game they are playing.

When we can see any moment as an opportunity for connection, even when there are screens involved, then everything changes.

I invite you to remember the simplicity of choosing connection –

with yourself

and with your child/ren.

And if your family does watch screens, you might like to watch this video I made about applying Aware Parenting to screens (click on the image to watch it):

Thank you so much for reading this.

I know how valuable your time is. And I want to give you a little offering.

At those times when you forget that adoration, and that miraculousness of being with your child/ren, find a song to play that touches your heart and soul.

I’m playing Gabrielle Alpin singing The Power of Love as I write this, and that song connects me with such love for my children that I have tears rolling down my cheeks as I write.

Lots of love,

Marion xxxx

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