I want to ask you what you want on Mothers’ Day.
Over the years, facilitating various groups for mothers, I have heard from many mothers who have felt disappointed or sad on Mothers’ Day, because they haven’t received what they really want.
I so want you to get what you really want this year.
I know that you give so much.
You pour so much love and awareness to your family.
And I imagine that you really want some appreciation, some gratitude, and some ACKNOWLEDGMENT for all that you do.
And I want to let you know that I really really appreciate what you do.
I acknowledge EVERYTHING you do as a mother.
All the thought that you put into parenting.
All the practical things that you do to care for your child/ren.
All the things you do to run your home and care for your home.
All the listening you give your child/ren.
All the presence you give your child/ren.
All the awareness you put into working out what is going on for them.
All the soul-searching that goes on with you as you grow as a mother.
All the times of frustration, of powerlessness, of worry.
All those times when your basic needs haven’t been met.
All those times when you were longing for a break.
All those times when you were crying out for some support.
All those times that you wish you had more community.
All the washing you’ve done.
All the meals that you’ve made.
All the clearing up.
All the times where you’ve put your needs to the side so that you could listen to your child/ren.
All those times where you stopped yourself reacting harshly, and responded with loving compassion, even though you were longing for some loving compassion for yourself.
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And I’m sending you loving compassion
For all those times that you did things that you wish you hadn’t done.
And for those times where you didn’t do what you wish you’d done now.
All those places where, with the knowledge you have now, you would do things differently.
All those times where the tears flowed, or where you held back the tears, or got angry, or harsh, or used your power over your child, or just gave up.
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I celebrate you
For all the evolving you’ve done.
For all the places that have grown in you since you’ve been a mum/mom.
For how you have learnt to parent yourself.
For how you have learnt to replace self-judgment with self-compassion.
For all the times where you’ve made a conscious choice to do something differently, because it felt right TO YOU.
All those times you’ve done what resonated in your heart, even though those around you didn’t understand.
All the ways in which you have learnt about yourself, and what you need, and what you feel.
All the ways which you have learnt how to honour yourself, value yourself, listen to yourself, and hold yourself with gentle compassion.
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And so I ask you,
What is it that you really want to receive on Mothers’ Day?
Is it appreciation?
If so, what EXACTLY would meet your need for appreciation?
Is it flowers?
A hand-written note?
Words saying what they appreciate?
A lie-in?
What would really do it for you?
And are you really willing to let yourself receive that?
And will you ask for that?
Of your partner if you have one, if your child/ren if they are old enough?
Will you ask yourself to give yourself that?
Are you willing to appreciate yourself?
And what would that look and feel like,
If you were to really really appreciate yourself?
Would it be to buy yourself some flowers?
Would it be writing yourself a note about all that you appreciate about yourself? All that you value about yourself?
And if so, I ask that you do that now.
Write yourself a note of gratitude, of appreciation, of acknowledgment. Tell yourself how much you honour who you are and what you do as a mother.
And if you’d like to share it with me, I’d love to see it.
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And if it is something different to appreciation, would you like to go through those same steps?
What EXACTLY would meet that need for you?
Are you willing to let yourself receive that?
Will you ask for that?
And are you willing to let yourself give that to yourself?
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For me, I want to be really valued.
And I once I have finished writing this to you, I am going to write myself a letter telling myself all that I value about myself.
And as for tomorrow, I have my day planned.
I only have one session booked (it will be my first Sunday “off” since January!!)
My mum will be away until the afternoon.
My children will be with me in the morning and I’ve asked them for my own Present Time (they are 8 and 13) – which is for us all to walk up to the lighthouse at Byron Bay. (They have the added incentive that there is an ice cream shop at the lighthouse!!).
In the afternoon they will be spending time with their sibling mother.
And I am going to my favourite shop to buy myself something beautiful.
And then in the late afternoon and evening I am hanging out with my mum, and we have a mammoth session of watching Downton Abbey together planned.
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What does your ideal Mothers’ Day look like? And are you willing to give yourself that, or some version of that?
I’d love to hear how it all goes for you.
And meanwhile, I am sending you lots of love, celebration, gratitude, and more love!!
Love,
Marion xxx