My children and I had another fun Present Time yesterday.
It followed a beautiful day of lots of hanging out, chatting, and relaxing. Then I gave myself an hour of Present Time whilst they were happily playing together. I read an English romance novel, which I really love and is the ultimate in extravagance for me!
And then I gave Lana (13) 30 minutes of PT, where she dressed me up, and did my hair and make up, all in a funny and strange way. What I loved most was getting to gaze into her eyes as she did my make up– something that doesn’t happen as often now she is 13. I felt such an upsurge of powerful love for her. Sunny watched the whole proceedings.
Then my son had 30 minutes of PT; and he chose to do physical play in the kitchen. At one point he managed to get me draped on top of him whilst he crawled on all fours and pulled me across the floor. We were both laughing a lot, and Lana took photos!
I could see that the quality of my presence in PT was particularly high after me having given to myself so much beforehand.
I also wanted to share a bit about our Aware Parenting journey. If you’ve been receiving my emails for a while, you’ll know that we all went through a really rough patch in the second half of last year.
Sunny was hitting a lot and not crying at all. If he felt frustrated, he would go straight to hitting.
Nowadays he easily cries when he feels frustrated – for example, if he feels frustrated about something on Minecraft, which is his favourite thing at the moment. And he rarely hits.
It is so wonderful to see that children can reclaim their capacity to heal and release through crying even if they have apparently lost that capacity for a while.
So, I know how challenging Aware Parenting can be at times, and also how wonderfully fulfilling it can be!
I wanted to share that with you because I think that most families have ebbs and flows – times of more connection, ease, play and flow, and times when things are more challenging and disconnected.
So, if you are having a more challenging time at the moment, I want to remind you that things CAN be different.
And the difference often starts with us, the parents. Listening to ourselves, our needs, desires and wants. What is calling you? Is there something you aren’t listening to?
As you know, for me it was me listening to wanting to contribute more in the world that made all the difference.
When that need was getting met, I could give more true connection, present time and attachment play, and then our whole experience was different.
I don’t know what your way will be, but I know that if things are challenging, they CAN be different.
And if things are fine, they can get even more enjoyable!