I wonder if you ever offer a loving limit to your child when they are throwing, taking, hitting, or being rough with the dog but they keep on trying to do it?
Do you find it helpful to remember that they are not doing it deliberately and they are not enjoying it, but are doing it because of accumulated painful feelings?
When we offer a loving limit, the aim is not only to stop the behaviour, it is also to support the expression of the feelings that are causing the behaviour.
We’re aiming to turn aggression or suppression into expression, which is how painful feelings, stress hormones and physical tension are released from their bodies.
Remembering that the loving limit is inviting the feelings can help us to keep on offering the limit, being ready for that big expression, and more able to listen lovingly.
If you want to truly make friends with your child’s feelings and learn more about loving limits, you might like my Making Friends with Children’s Feelings Course.