Hello!

I wonder if you’ve noticed that one of the things that affects your child’s feelings and behaviour more than anything else is present connection?

Have you noticed that if you tend not to be having so much connection with your child, or you’re distracted, or in your own bubbling-up feelings, that your child will tend to cooperate less, smile less, and be more agitated and ‘grumpy’?

And do you notice that when your child is regularly receiving connection from you, especially if you are feeling fulfilled and full of life, that she tends to be happier and more cooperative?

AND also, have you noticed when you’re more connected with her and she’s more connected with you, that she might also tend to show you her feelings more, rather than holding them in?
 

It’s a paradox. Remember I shared recently about that exercise I do at workshops, and how mothers share that when the other mother gives them more presence, more eye contact, more being-with-them, that the feelings that they are feeling get stronger and bigger.

When we know that someone is there, fully present with us, we are free to be more present with ourselves.

This is even more true for our kids. They need the container of our presence to be present with themselves.
 

I had an experience of this, this week.

I took my daughter (14) to a water slide park with the other teen homeschoolers, where she had a huge amount of fun all day. She clearly got her needs for connection and fun met there.

And I got lots of needs met too. Since my son was at home with my Mum, I was free to do what I wanted. So I brought my circular beach towel, and magazines, and my favourite raw chocolate, and spent a couple of hours reading, and then chatting to the other homeschooling parents at the water park.

And then I did a profound Inner Loving Presence Process, where my Inner Loving Father acknowledged and appreciated every single thing I’d done as a mother, right from preparing to conceive my daughter, 16 years ago, to now. And after that, he went through all the painful experiences I’d had with boys and men over the years and apologised on behalf of them.

I’m glad I had on my big sun hat and was lying down, because I was sobbing and sobbing for the whole process. Those were the words I had been longing to hear.

So, after both my daughter and I getting our needs met so beautifully, then we had an hour and a bit driving home.

I was in an incredibly present state after my day, and so was she. 

We chatted. We had some silence together (when I’m really present, I don’t feel called to badger her with questions!) and then we sang all these different rounds, like “Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree.” It was beautiful!

When she went to bed that night, I lounged on her bed with her, and we chatted more and laughed, and played with the dog, and she was in a fun mood and we had a wonderful time.

I really saw how us both having our connection cups filled up helped us feel so happy and present.

And I’m so grateful that I get to have times like this, with her turning 15 in a couple of months.
 

Do you notice times like this?

Times when you have chosen to do things that you love and which fill you up?

And how much presence you are able to give to your child after that?

And how different you both are after that beautiful present connection?
 

I talk about this in the free 4 day Powerful Present Time Practice.

We go through the reasons why we can avoid being present with our kids.

I invite you to give yourself your own Present Time,

all before actually doing Present Time with your child.

If you haven’t done it before, and you want to, HERE’S the place to click!
 

Love,

Marion 

xxx