Hello!
How are you?
I grew up with the idea that there was more to life than meets the eye.
My Dad had many deja vu experiences throughout his life, and as a man passionate about science, he was always trying to understand how they could have happened.
My own sense of a deeper connection with the events in life came in my mid to late twenties.
At my thirtieth birthday, it was as if Life shouted a message to me.
My favourite song of the time came on during my party; the words to the song were; “I wanna show you what I’m capable of, honey won’t you just give me the chance…” and just I was wildly dancing to those exact words, singing them at the top of my voice, the smoke alarm got set off by the smoke machines (this WAS the early nineties!!), and all the electricity got shut off.
That was the end of my party. There was no more power.
At the time I knew that this was a clear reflection and message to me about me losing my power. I went in to a huge sweet spot of powerlessness and helplessness….
And now, when I look back at that time, the message is loud and clear – which I didn’t get at the time – I was waiting for others to give me the chance to show what I was capable of – that’s where I was giving away my power.
For nearly a decade, the conversation with Life seemed one way. I would get the messages, but I didn’t seem to be able to clearly communicate back.
Until 2006, when I Googled “deja vu” to help my Dad, and came across The Field Project.
Here was a modality that not only understood how to read the messages from Life, but also knew how to clearly communicate back.
I fell in love with the modality and immersed myself in studying and practicing it for 7 years; becoming a Facilitator in it and working with people with it.
And for my own personal life, it brought a feeling sense of being deeply interconnected with all of life.
Seeing these messages, and being able to respond back, gave me a sense of belonging and meaning that I’d been longing for.
My car’s numberplate is even named after this – it’s called “Fieldy” – the term for when something synchronous or clearly life-conversational happens!
And I even got my car that way!
I’d never really cared much about what car I had before, but after separating from my ex-husband, a whole new identity emerged for me.
And one day, I was driving along, and out of nowhere, I thought to myself, “I’d love a car with a really light interior, and sparkly light blue on the outside,” and half an hour later, I ‘happened’ to drive past a second hand car sales place with my car in it – which was indeed sparkly light blue, with a cream leather interior.
And more than that, the exact amount of money for the car arrived in a very unexpected way at the same time.
So less than 2 weeks after connecting with that desire, that became my car. (And “Fieldy” is a perfect name for it, because it’s one of the main ways that Life still speaks to me – like last week when the door wouldn’t work, until I did an inner piece of work, and then it suddenly did again!)
The car is just one example of many.
For example, in the last couple of weeks of my Dad’s life, my children and I were staying in my family home in England. I had bought them some Tinkerbell wands. And every night, for a few nights, in the middle of the night, the wands said only one of the many messages, “There’s magic where you least expect it.” And there were magical things that happened during those last weeks, alongside the pain and grief.
Not only did I learn to read the messages even more clearly (often through listening to the exact words of whatever happened), but I learned about how I could clearly respond back to Life, based on my thoughts, desire, identity and willingness.
The Field work is so much about identity, and letting go of old identities when new ones call (I do that even with my clothes!), and soon, even the Field Project model was something I needed to let go of.
I immersed myself back into my other two passions, Aware Parenting and Nonviolent Communication.
And over the last couple of years, the Inner Loving Presence Process came to me. And it combines elements of all of these – the Field Project work, Aware Parenting, NVC, and my past experiences in Psychosynthesis and other modalities.
And what I love about the ILPP is that it combines the things I love about all of these modalities – and am so grateful to all the creators of them.
The ILPP brings together:
Aware Parenting’s understanding of healing, and the way that unheard and unexpressed feelings from the past come up in the present whenever something similar happens that reminds us of the past;
Aware Parenting’s understanding that feelings need to be heard and expressed in order for them to be released from the body;
NVC’s understanding of the importance of receiving empathy for unmet needs, gaining clarity about what our needs are, and finding ways to ask for those needs to be met;
The Field Project’s and Psychosynthesis’ understanding of the messages from life, and how our inner world is reflected in our outer world.
The Field Project’s and Psychosynthesis’ understanding of the power of the will, and the difference between wilfulness and willingness, and the generative power of willingness.
What I really wanted was a practice, process and paradigm that was a marriage of masculine and feminine qualities.
What I LOVE about the Inner Loving Presence Process is that it combines unconditional love with the power of the will.
It combines really listening to feelings WITH the power of consciousness to create change.
It combines radical loving acceptance for exactly where we are, AND the knowledge that we are often being called to something more.
AND I find it really powerful.
I’d love to share a few of my examples from last week, that helped me deepen my understanding of the power of this work.
I was working on my main website, and a technical glitch kept on showing up. I kept working on it (on an outer level) and it still kept on showing up. I then spent about half an hour Googling different ways to fix it.
And then I remembered what I recommend to the Respond Lovingly to your Calling Course members, to do a Willingness Practice with outer glitches that show up.
So, I did a very quick Willingness Practice and a very quick Inner Loving Presence Process.
I came to what I often come to – a 13 year old part of me that is scared that if I do things that are competent or I shine, people will get jealous, and will hurt me.
So, my Inner Loving Crew listened to the fear, and reminded me of how things are different now, and how they can protect me.
The whole process took about 10 minutes. And I went back to my website and did exactly what I had been doing, and the glitch had gone. It worked perfectly.
When we were little, we did things and were judged or belittled or got hurt or weren’t seen, and then, when we go to do something similar – share our gifts / do something we love / speak up in the world / show our true selves, then often the feelings, thoughts and body sense of those original painful experience come up.
They come up because that’s how our psyche works. They come up to be heard and healed.
What we are afraid of has already happened.
Our fears of the same thing happening again, and the protections that we create for ourselves, show up in outer apparent “blocks” which aren’t really blocks at all – they are just Life acting in accordance with our desire to protect ourselves from the same thing happening again.
The more we can hear and heal the past hurts, the more we can receive the support that we need in the here and now, the more we can feel trust that those old things WON’T happen this time (and even if they did, we have resources now that we didn’t have then), the more we can do what we’re here to do, shine our light, be ourselves, and give our gifts.
The beautiful thing is that Life is helping us with this.
Life will keep giving us messages.
That is often through our children, technology, our bodies, the signs that we drive past, the conversations that we overhear.
For example, my children both have baby teeth in the SAME place in their mouth that they haven’t been willing to let go of. For a long long time.
I’ve done lots of outer things to aim to help that to change, but finally I asked myself, “What am I not willing to let go of?”
And then, after a couple of very synchronous events, it became clear to me. They aren’t willing to let go of their ‘baby’ teeth and I haven’t been willing to let go of having another baby.
So now I’m doing my own inner work with that.
Our children will often show us things.
Many times, I’ve been on a Skype session with a mama and her child has come in. Often mothers will feel uncomfortable and will try to get the child to leave.
But I pretty much always find that the child has something to communicate.
For example, in a call the other day, the little child came out on to the balcony where the mama was talking from, and kept trying to get through the balustrades, which were of course too small. And the message the mother heard was that she was too big now to squeeze herself back into a situation that she had outgrown.
What I love about this work is also about NOT FORCING ourselves.
If we are scared of doing something, because of past hurts, forcing ourselves through it often backfires.
If we are protecting ourselves from getting hurt in the way we were hurt in the past, but we keep pushing through before we’ve done enough inner work to find true willingness, then often outer things will keep coming up that prevent us from moving forward. It’s that protection again.
We may curse the Internet that isn’t working, or the website that keeps crashing, or the car that breaks down, (and we may think that Life is against us) but often, this can be a reflection of part of ourselves wanting to protect ourselves from moving forward, because we haven’t yet done enough of the inner healing.
And in those times it can be really important to unconditionally love ourselves and where we are.
For example, I’ve had a project on the burner for quite a while, and the other day I sat at the computer to take the next step, where I’d felt scared when I’d thought of taking it.
10 minutes later my dog squealed. I checked him all over and he seemed fine. Then he squealed a couple times the next day. The only symptom I could see was that he couldn’t shake his head any more. He would usually shake off things after he got up, and now he couldn’t shake his head.
I took him to the vet, feeling worried, and I listened within (my dog, along with my car, are my clearest messengers).
What was he trying to tell me?
And finally I realised that I hadn’t been listening to myself.
This project I had dreamed of was still there, but I hadn’t yet done enough inner healing to be truly willing to move forward.
Moving forward would be forcing myself, despite the fear, rather than coming to a place of healing where I could willingly move forward.
I hadn’t let myself say “no, not yet”; I hadn’t let myself shake my head.
After I’d taken my lovely dog to the vet, and the vet had said that he was fine, just had a cold, and I felt relieved, I suddenly laughed out loud as I realised what he’d been telling me – that I hadn’t been willing to shake my head (and say not yet!)
I LOVE all of this stuff!
I love deep unconditional love for ourselves now, and all the past, younger parts of us.
I love seeing how Life consistently brings us what needs to be healed in us.
I love that Life will try to protect us from getting hurt again, if we are still afraid of getting hurt again.
I love that we are deeply interconnected with Life, and that Life can speak to us through everyday events, and we can speak to Life, through our willingness.
I love that we can choose celebration when we move forwards, and unconditional love when we’re (not yet) willing.
I love that there is such deep meaning and interconnectedness to life.
And through this last week, where I’ve had SO many sycnchronicities, and so many people telling me how The Willingness Practice and the ILPP have been amazing for them, that I’ve come up with my own next step.
And this is it:
1. Another 4 month live round of Respond Lovingly to your Calling Course (which I am LOVING!)
This includes oodles of audios on videos on everything from making your own online course, setting up your website, connecting with your vision, expressing yourself authentically through FB, Instagram and MailChimp PLUS all the Inner Loving Presence Process, The Willingness Practice, the Conversation with Life, PLUS fortnightly Zoom calls (where each person who comes to the call gets equal time to share about how they are getting on.)
2. Option to sign up for more RLTYC Zoom support calls for those people who are in THIS live round of RLTYC.
Those who were already in this live round of RLTYC get life-time access to the RLTYC FB group and all the material, and have the option of paying for the Zoom calls for this NEXT live round and joining in again.
3. I am also going to offer the Inner Loving Presence Process for Entrepreneurs Course.
This will be an update and remake of the Inner Loving Presence Process for Entrepreneurs Taster. This includes all the material about The Willingness Practice, The Inner Loving Presence Process, The Inner Loving Crew and the Conversation with Life in audio, video and written formats, and the FB group. If you did the Inner Loving Presence Process for Entrepreneurs, you can join this for a very small upgrade cost! (it’s different from RLTYC because it doesn’t have any of the technical videos, nor the Visioning, the planning modules, etc. etc. – it’s JUST the ILPP elements!
PLUS, a couple of weeks later, I will be offering a 4 month package of Zoom calls which everyone from both RLTYC AND ILPPE can upgrade to. This is called the ILPP for Entrepreneurs Zoom calls.
This will be different from the RLTYC Zoom calls, because there will be one or two people each time who get to be facilitated, and the others are there are observers. I will facilitate those who want to be facilitated, through either The Willingness Practice, or the Inner Loving Presence Process, or both.
What I find is that those who listen often will have similar themes as those who are being facilitated, and will go away, also coming to a place of clarity in themselves, even when they haven’t been the one being facilitated.
It gives people an opportunity to dive into TWP and the ILPP, and for others to experience what that’s like from the outside, so they can also up their own practice.
The Willingness Practice and The Inner Loving Presence Process can be really powerful. I have people writing in to me frequently telling me what a difference they are making for them (I will share more testimonials later!)
I want to share this news with you now as there will be limited places in each of these.
The new live round of the Respond Lovingly to your Calling Course starts on the FIRST OF AUGUST, as does the new live round of support calls.
The Inner Loving Presence Process for Entrepreneurs Course will be available BEFORE THE 13TH OF JULY (final date to be confirmed).
And the Inner Loving Presence Process for Entrepreneurs group facilitating calls (available as an upgrade for all ILPPE and RLTYC members) will start on the FIFTH OF JULY.
That’s quite a lot of information to take in, but I will be writing more to you about it all!
And if you’re here to read my parenting emails, those WILL be back!
And meanwhile, if you want to get The Willingness Practice for Entrepreneurs for free, you can get that HERE.
Love,
Marion
xxx