I believe that in order to feel resourced internally, we need to have received emotional resourcing from others.
When I connect with my Inner Loving Mother, the words are usually something like “I’m here with you. I’m listening,” and alongside that, I will often put my hand on my thigh or on on forehead.
Creating that internal circuit often leads to a beautiful sigh, a relaxation, a feeling of presence.
That quality of present touch are things I’ve experienced from others. With beloveds. With practitioners who were deeply present in their own bodies when they touched me – for example, in my early twenties I had Polarity Therapy for a few years, and in my thirties I had a lot of Alexander Technique sessions and some Rolfing work.
Then there is the touch of the wind on my skin; the cuddling with Feather the Frenchie.
Most of all, I learnt about deeply present touch through being with my children, and holding them with presence. In offering present touch, I experienced it within myself too.
All of these memories are what help me tap in to the inner resources of my Inner Loving Mother.
If I’m feeling tired, and it’s been a long day, I can lie down even just for a few moments on a soft pillow, put one hand on my forehead and the other around my torso, and connect in with Inner Loving Mother’s, “I’m here with you. I’m listening. I love you,” and my nervous system relaxes; I feel the out-breath and the relaxation in my muscles.
I wonder if this resonates with you?
Can you tap into experiences of feeling deeply present and compassionate touch?
If you put your hand on your forehead or heart or thigh right now, and connect in with a loving phrase that you’d love to hear, how do you feel?
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If you’d like to receive Outer Loving Support in a yummy FB group, and help in developing your own inner resources in the form of your Inner Loving Presences / Crew, this is part of my Inner Loving Presence Process Course.
The idea that we can be more loving mothers by judging and punishing ourselves with guilt and self-harshness comes from the same idea that we can help children be more loving children by punishing them.
It comes from an outdated perception of human beings.
When I used to feel guilty as a mother, it didn’t help me be more loving. In fact, whilst I was hitting myself with the emotional guilt sticks, I felt emotional bruises and in those moments had less capacity to be lovingly present with my children.
Moving away from the old paradigm of punishment isn’t just about responding compassionately to our children.
We can also take that journey ourselves; replacing old internalised punishment of guilt with increasing self-compassion.
I am passionate about helping mothers release old-paradigm inner dialogue and replace it with compassionate inner dialogue.
One way I do that is in my Inner Loving Presence Process Course.
The last live round of the year starts next week.
It’s also a prerequisite of my Marion Method Training, starting next year.
You can find out more HERE.