Have you noticed that, when you give yourself regular Present Time, that it accumulates and you have a sense of more to give your child/ren?
I’ve been noticing that a lot lately!
For example, after Mothers’ Day and my birthday, when I basically gave myself Present Time all day, I noticed that whenever I thought of giving my children Present Time, I had a big “yes” and lots of available attention to give them.
But when I haven’t given myself so much, then when I check in with myself about giving them Present Time, I don’t have a ‘yes’, and I need to go and give myself a bit of PT to myself first!
I often think about this for when I first became a mother.
Before that, I’d had years of weekly therapy – time where I was simply heard, and I got to talk about myself and my past.
And I think that filled up my cup so full, that it made it really easy for me to give and give and give when my daughter was a baby.
How full up was your cup before you became a mother? And how did it affect how much you had to give?
The other thing I realise is that when my children were younger, I didn’t ever check in with myself about how full my cup was. I just gave.
And it makes such a difference, now that I check out with myself whether I have anything to give. And if I don’t, then I give to myself.
I often call this self-giving Micro or Macro Me Moments.
Micro Moments are small things that we can pepper throughout our day as mothers.
Things that we can do with our children – things like going for a walk that we love, or putting on some music that we love, or dancing around the kitchen with them, or doing a couple of sun salutations, even if they are climbing on us whilst we do it! Picking or buying some beautiful flowers for ourselves and putting them where we can see and smell their beauty.
And then there are the Micro Me Moments that we can do where we set a timer. I really recommend a timer – it creates a loving boundary around that activity that I find helps me be really present in that activity, which means that I’m really there receiving it!
Some of my favourite Micro Me Moments at the moment are 10,15, 20 or 30 minutes lying in my hammock, either looking at the trees and sky, or reading.
Sometimes my children might want to join me there – particularly my son. And of course, the younger your children are, the more likely they are to need connection with you.
But even putting in 5 or 10 minutes where you are really present with yourself in your body can make a big difference in how much you have to give your child/ren.
And then there are Macro Me Moments – bigger chunks of time where you do something that you really love.
And I know how busy your life is.
Me Moments can tend to fall off the bottom of our lists if we don’t prioritise them and actually book them in our diary, as we would if we were meeting up with a friend.
So, I’d love to ask you – what are your Micro and Macro Me Moments?
And are you willing to book them into your diary?
And to pepper them throughout your day and your week?
You give so much. It’s so important that you give to yourself.
Lots of love,
Marion xxxxx