When we are children, we don’t come inbuilt with the capacity to be present with our feelings.
We need the adults around us to be able to be present with our feelings, so that we internalise their loving presence and have the capacity to be present with ourselves, in our bodies, when we feel upset.
Have you ever felt deeply immersed in a younger part of you, feeling really upset, and feeling all alone in those feelings?
Often, when painful feelings show up from the past to be heard now, what also shows up for us is the sense of aloneness that went with those feelings, because there wasn’t anyone with us at the time who could be compassionately present with us in those feelings.
The wonderful thing is that we can gain the sense of having an inner loving presence with us when we’re feeling upset.
I will always remember Jen, one of the first people who started doing the Inner Loving Presence Process, saying, “I will never feel alone again.”
As we develop relationships with our Inner Loving Crew – our Inner Loving Mother, Inner Loving Father, Inner Best Friend, Inner Beloved, and other Inner Loving Presences, we increasingly have the experience that when we are feeling painful feelings, we are not alone – there is a loving, compassionate presence with us.
I have found that having my Inner Loving Crew with me has so deeply and profoundly changed my experience.
Before, I felt all alone in my feelings.
Now, I have this inner sense of ‘withness’ that makes all the difference.
If I have some physical pain, like I did the other night with a tick bite, my Inner Loving Mother simply kept on sending loving compassion to the sensations, which made the entire experience so different to how I used to be with physical pain.
If I am immersed in a younger part of me, having my Inner Loving Crew there with me, giving me compassion, hearing me, and saying what I long to hear, I generally feel such a sense of relief.
Having my Inner Loving Crew with me has helped be more present and compassionate as a mother; they are there with me during client sessions, groups and workshops. They listen to me when I’m at the cusp of a new step (like at the moment).
And of course they don’t replace outer loving support.
In fact, the paradox is that the more capacity we have for inner support, the more we are willing to receive outer support, and the more that outer support and love shows up.
If you want to learn more, you can do that in my Inner Loving Presence Process Course.
There’s a free taster too, to see if it resonates with you.
Much love,
xoxox