Hello!
Sometimes, on Sunday nights, when I’m on my own, I like watching those auditions from shows like The XFactor, when the singer is unsure and scared, and then starts to sing, and comes alive, and the crowd and judges are amazed.
Last Sunday, I was particularly touched watching an audition by Jonathon and Charlotte.
Simon Cowell had made some disparaging remark when they went on stage, but within seconds of them starting to sing, he was in awe.
Very soon, Jonathon was being compared with Pavarotti.
And five years later, he has sung all around the world, captivating audiences and retaining such a loving and humble presence.
I LOVE hearing about stories like his, and I LOVE watching those auditions, because it keeps me connected to my sense that, as Paracelsus said, “In every human being, there is a special heaven, whole and unbroken.”
I believe that we each have a divine spark within us; something that makes us different to everyone else, yet at the same time connects us to everyone else.
I feel such joy when I see people like Jonathon on those audition stages, with the crowd’s judgment turning to joy and rapture and celebration as he opens his mouth and sings.
I believe that each one of us has unique gifts; beautiful offerings; things to share with the world.
And yet, we live in a culture where judgment reigns.
As children, most of us went to school where we were taught that a certain way of drawing, writing, singing, dancing was “good” and “better” and “not good”, and we learnt to judge ourselves from receiving those judgments.
And then, some people had the extra pain of other children being harsh to them. Jonathan Antoine talks about how harsh other children were to him when he was at school.
I also experienced that at school. I wonder if you did. At times I was excluded. One boy would call me “Quasimodo”; and I had quite a few painful experiences with other children.
And yet each of us still has this divine spark.
And the paradox is, often our challenges become our gifts.
You’ve probably read of how my own experience as a baby in an incubator has led to my passion in advocating for the understanding of the needs and feelings of babies, and how they have the capacity to heal from painful experiences.
I wonder if you see things like that in yourself too – places that were painful or challenging for you were transformed – perhaps you had physical illness that led you to explore certain healing modalities, which you now offer to others; or perhaps you learnt how to help your child heal from painful experiences and that led you to want to help other parents and children.
So we have this amazing combination of things that we love as children – like singing or drawing or being with animals, or spending time in nature, or talking to people, or understanding how things work, and these things are our unique passions, things that light us up, things that we love to do.
AND we experience painful or challenging experiences which also became part of our craft, through what we learnt as we traversed that journey.
And yet, I wonder if there are things you want to share or create or make or offer to others, and yet you feel scared, or terrified, or things just seem to keep getting in the way of you doing that?
And have you ever wondered why that happens?
Well, the way I see it is because of two reasons:
- We internalise the ways we were responded to.
So, if at school we were told that our art was only a C grade, or when we put our hand up in class, other children were harsh to us in the playground, we internalised all those voices and experiences. So, the teacher telling us, “your art isn’t very good,” changes our inner voice to, “I LOVE drawing,” to, “I can’t draw; my art is no good.” And the children telling us, “You’re a goody two shoes, answering the questions,” becomes, “If I shine, or share what I know, or am competent at something, I will get hurt or outcast.”
Those inner voices of judgment are not yours. They came from outside you, and you internalised them.
- Our psyche is set up to heal through the mechanism that when something in the present reminds us of the past, the feelings and thoughts from past painful experiences come up to be heard and healed this time.
So, when we go to share something in the world, or speak, or show ourselves, or be seen, often old unexpressed feelings and thoughts come up.
Perhaps we feel terrified, as we are reminded of standing up in class and not knowing the answer to a question. Or perhaps we feel scared, as we are reminded of dancing for joy as a three year old in front our our uncle, and him making a disparaging remark.
I find it really helpful if we remember this – that what we are scared of has already happened, and that the feelings that are coming up are from the past, wanting to be healed, and the thoughts that are coming up are not our thoughts, but thoughts we’ve internalised from others.
I’ve found that having these ways of understanding things can transform our experience of sharing our own unique spark.
The journey can become one of profound psychospiritual healing, as we follow what our heart calls us to do, and on the way heal a whole load of old hurts.
There are so many more elements to this – such as meeting our Inner Loving Crew and having an Outer Loving Crew, both of whom can give us unconditional love, empathy, and reassurance.
And then there’s the whole piece about how what was external (our experiences growing up) becomes internal (our feelings and internal dialogue) and then becomes external again (shows up in our life experiences).
And this can be so tangible; for example we might want to do something, but if an old fear comes up to be heard and healed from the past, and we dismiss it, we might find that suddenly our Internet won’t work, or whatever we need to take that next step is being glitchy.
That isn’t life being against us. That’s Life protecting us from what we are afraid of happening.
That’s why so much of this work is an inside job. Because if we don’t listen within; if we don’t take that time to stop and listen; if we try to force through our fears, often other external things will show up.
I’ve found The Willingness Practice and the Inner Loving Presence Process combined to be so incredibly helpful in navigating this journey. Technical glitches are no longer things I need to fight – they are opportunities for me to ask myself what I’m protecting myself from.
The clearer we are on the inside, the clearer we can be on the outside.
I wonder if this resonates with you?
Do you have something that you want to share with the world, but every time you take your next step, you get scared, or internal judgments show up, or technical glitches come, or you get sick?
Would you like to have a clear way of working with that and through that?
Would you like to see the journey of your calling as a psychospiritual journey, which includes both you sharing your gifts AND healing old hurts so you can more and more become who you really are?
I’ll be sharing more about my Inner Loving Presence Process for Entrepreneurs and the next live round of my Respond Lovingly to your Calling Course in upcoming emails.
AND ALL OF THIS IS SO RELEVANT TO PARENTING TOO!
How we respond to our child when she dances for joy in the living room, how we respond to her when she draws, writes, talks, makes things, and shows her own unique interests, all these are important, because they influence how SHE will respond to what she loves, and how much she will feel free to follow her own unique spark and journey!
Love,
Marion
xxx