Hello!
I remember when I got into what was then called “the New Age”, when I was 23.
I felt such a relief; this knowing that we are more than the personality, that meaning and purpose and the divine were all things that I could include in my life, without taking on a religion.
And yet, when I read books on enlightenment and spirituality, I was searching for a way to become someone other than me – to escape the pain I hadn’t heard and healed.
And that was why coming across a PSYCHOSPIRITUAL approach was so helpful for me, just a year later, at 24, because it isn’t about becoming someone else, or leaving behind parts of ourselves. It’s about including ALL our aspects.
And I still hold a psychospiritual approach now, 25 years later.
I’ve read many stories over the years of spiritual teachers and gurus who have been ‘enlightened’, and yet whose personality, left alone in the shadows, led to painful and serious repercussions.
What I believe happens in those cases, is that the person identifies with the Self, but leaves the other parts of themselves out in the cold.
And I believe that the parts of us that are left in the cold come knocking, louder and louder the more they are ignored.
I’m not interested in enlightenment.
I want to become enlovened.
What do I mean by that?
Well, I want EVERY PART OF MYSELF to be brought back home to me.
I want to love every part of myself.
I want to love every part of my body and every sensation.
I want to love EVERY SINGLE FEELING.
I want to love baby me, one year old me, two year old me, and EVERY-AGED ME!
I want to unconditionally love every hurt, every loss, every rage, every sadness, every frustration.
I also want to unconditional love every passion, every interest, every calling, every joy, every delight, every wonder.
I want to unconditionally LOVE every part of me.
I want to have an internal dialogue that is completely and utterly dripping with compassion.
And I’ve come a long way with this already.
25 years ago I was full of guilt and shame, self-judgment and unheard pain.
Nowadays, I don’t should myself, thus I don’t EVER feel guilty.
I very rarely catch myself with shaming thoughts, and when I do, I send in my Inner Loving Crew.
My inner dialogue is very compassionate.
I rarely judge myself.
But I want this to become even more subtle.
For the love to become even more deep and wide and all-encompassing.
And this is my paradigm too.
Instead of working towards enlightenment, my work is all about helping ourselves become more and more and more self-compassionate, bringing all of ourselves back home, so that we become the LOVE-IN-ACTION that we really are.
This means NOT LEAVING ANY PARTS OF US BEHIND.
All parts are welcome.
All parts are loved.
All parts are included.
And that’s why I don’t ever use the word “ego”.
It’s come to mean something that needs to be got rid of, or transcended.
In my paradigm, instead of transcending the smaller parts of ourselves,
We simply become MORE loving,
we simply love more of us,
and in doing this, we become MORE identified with LOVE.
And we act more in service of that LOVE.
We become who we really are – LOVE in ACTION.
NOT through denying or dissociating from hurts or pain.
But through embracing ALL the hurts, ALL the pain, ALL the inner children that weren’t heard.
Our inner dialogue transforms into a compassionate inner dialogue.
And of course, alongside all this inner development, brings a capacity to RESPOND WITH DEEP COMPASSION to others.
I’ve found that the more compassionate I can be with myself; the more I love all the parts of me; the more I can unconditionally love others.
This isn’t a path of transcendence.
It’s a path of inclusion.
It’s a path that frees us from judgment of self and others.
It’s a path that loves all of ourselves and others.
It’s a path home to who we really are.
And what I love is, that we can help our children, through how we respond to them, so that they grow up enlovened.
I remember when my daughter was 4, and people suggested she do meditation, or I’d buy books on spirituality for children.
And there was such a mismatch.
Because she was already living love.
She was already living presence.
She was already loving calm centredness.
She didn’t need to be taught those things.
Those were (and are) her true nature.
They are the true nature of all of us.
(And if you love meditation, please know that I’m all for meditation. My point here was that if we are able to listen to enough of our children’s feelings and meet enough of their needs, then they won’t need meditation. And of course, our own hurts often get in the way, and so meditation might be just the thing for some children!)
One way to help our children more connected to their true nature, I believe, is to listen to as many of their feelings as we are able to, to meet as many of their needs as we are able to, and to respond to them without judgment, shoulds, have-to’s, but with clear empathy for their feelings and needs. And to trust them and follow their interests so that they can do what they’re here to do.
And that is why I love Aware Parenting and Nonviolent Communication so much.
To me, these two approaches combined are so far the most effective ways to help our children connected to their true nature:
Compassionate, connected, cooperative, calm, creative, clear.
Being who they really are isn’t a mystery.
When your baby gazes into your eyes, when your toddler gently reaches out to another child or animal; when your child spontaneously hugs you; when your child is immersed in doing something she loves, this is who she is.
And yet, of course, we live in a culture that doesn’t understand feelings and needs in this way, and is still based on the domination paradigm of judgment and punishment, and because we have all our own internalised judgmental voices, and our own unhealed hurts, we won’t be able to meet all of their needs, or listen to all of their feelings, or avoid judgment completely.
But they will have MORE of a connection with who they really are than we did at their age.
And that will help their own enlovening process be easier for them.
I believe that our true nature is love.
I believe that we only do hurtful things when we have chronically unmet needs or painful pent up feelings.
I believe that we are each here, a unique soul, wanting to make a difference.
What do you believe?
What is your paradigm?
What journey are you on for yourself?
What do you want for your child/ren?
My present thoughts about this are what drive all the offerings I have.
I want to help others love themselves more, in TANGIBLE ways.
I want to help free the next generation from guilt and shame and unhealed pain and harsh inner voices.
I want to help co-create a world that is compassionate.
I LOVE to work with mothers wanting to be more compassionate with themselves.
I LOVE to work with mothers who want to heal old hurts that come up to be healed with their kids, and in their journey of sharing their gifts.
I LOVE to work with mothers who want to get free from judging themselves, their children, and all others.
I LOVE to work with mothers who want to listen to as many of their children’s feelings as they can, and to help them be compassionate with themselves about what their children will need to carry and work with for themselves.
I LOVE to work with mothers who want to share their gifts with the world, and who want to do that in a way that brings more self-love and takes them to become more and more who they really are.
I LOVE to help women come home to themselves; and to see more and more the amazing beings that they are.
I hope that in some way, my emails to you give you something of these things.
Much love,
Marion
xxx