A core element of Will-Work is increasing our capacity to stay present in our body whilst we are feeling rage, outrage and frustration.
This is so vital, because if we don’t feel connected with ourselves and our bodies when we’re feeling rage, outrage or frustration, we are likely to flip the powerful energy of the will into:
Blame;
Aggression;
Self-blame;
Judgment;
Power-over;
Hatred;
Self-hatred.
In the domination, colonised culture, we often didn’t have our big feelings of rage mirrored and honoured, nor were we often supported to express our frustration and outrage in safe and healthy ways.
In our disconnection from land, from ritual, from ceremonial dance and drumming and singing, many of us have not learnt ways to channel the powerful energy in our bodies in benevolent ways.
We do not have cultural honouring of embodied power.
Colonised culture punishes children who are having a tantrum, or belittles them as having immature ways of dealing with big feelings.
Yet, if we gain our own embodied capacity to stay lovingly present with our child as they are having a tantrum or are raging, they are able to stay connected with their natural capacity to release built-up powerlessness, frustration, and outrage.
The more we can support them in that, the less the energy in their body builds up into expressions of aggression – hitting, biting, throwing, pushing, taking.
So again, it is loving connection that transforms the tantrum into a healthy expression and release of feelings and energy in the body.
As adults, we often need to regain the capacity to stay present in our bodies when outrage arises, which often requires mirroring and presence from people who can stay lovingly present in those feelings in their bodies.
We often also need to change our ways of thinking so that when we feel the energy arising, we don’t turn it into aggression or self-aggression, but are able to embody it and channel it into healthy expression.
Connected outrage becomes courage.
As we stay present in our bodies when we see events in the outer world that are deeply against our values, our capacity to stay lovingly present in our bodies helps us take courageous action. The word courage has roots in the Latin, ‘cor,’ meaning ‘heart.’
Outrage and Will need to be deeply rooted in Love and the heart, so that we can take truly loving action.
Encouragement is also part of this; and the shift from coercion and force and punishment, all domination ways of using the will, into encouragement. Rather than coercing our child or ourselves, when we encourage our child or ourselves, we can compassionately listen to fears, concerns or needs; we stay deeply connected with them and ourselves whilst moving forward and taking action to create change.
I’d love to share my own experience.
Yesterday, I could feel the energy of outrage building in my body. Months of reading about climate change, experiencing the smoke from the bushfires, seeing what has happened to a billion animals in Australia, to people’s homes, to indigenous people, understanding more about the political and corporate world and seeing the non-action of politicians, learning more about indigenous lives and racism and white privilege, and the link between schooling and loss of culture in First Nations people, and how interconnected all of these things, and I could feel the energy bubbling up in me yesterday.
I could see the temptation to let it out, like the top of a pressure-cooker, in ‘grumpiness’ or being snappy or aggressive. But I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to stay deeply present with the energy in my body. To keep feeling the feelings and sensations and the power of them.
I was helped to stay with those feelings and sensations by my connection with my Inner Loving Mother and my Inner Beloved.
My Inner Loving Mother offered me plenty of compassion. “I hear how outraged you are; I hear your frustration. I’m with you. I’m listening. I value your feelings. I’m right here with you.”
My Inner Beloved is deeply rooted in the earth and helps me stay connected with my body and life force. He helps me stay grounded, and connected with the energy of Love and Will, passion and outrage, my Neo No and my vision and willingness. I literally feel his energetic support to keep connected with the energy in my body.
In my own journey, I’m feeling more and more called to speak out and speak up. To say a big NEO NO to systems that use disconnection and oppression over children, indigenous peoples, animals, humans in general, and the earth.
And I stand in a big YES to courage, to loving compassion that stands in embodied and sacred power.
I stand in my YES to being part of co-creating new systems based on our interconnectedness with each other and the earth, with compassion and reparation and regeneration.
I wonder how you feel when you read this?
How are you with feelings of outrage or frustration, and with those feelings arising in your child or others in your life?
What helps you stay connected with your outrage in ways that help you feel the courageousness to speak out, to speak up, to take action around your Neo No and your big YES!?
Big big love xoxox