Hello!

Most of us grew up in the behaviourism model.

If we DID something that our parents or teachers didn’t want us to do, we were taught or punished so that we could be ‘good’.

If we DIDN’T DO something that our parents or teachers wanted us to do, they offered rewards to entice us to cooperate.

What I love about attachment play is that it is so clearly NOT behaviourism.

And that’s why it can sometimes be so difficult to practice.

We internalised behaviourism.
 

So, sometimes, in the recesses of our psyche, we can fear that if we actually PLAY with our children when they aren’t cooperating, or when they’re doing something that we don’t want them to do, that that will ‘reward’ or ‘reinforce’ that behaviour and they will do it more.

And it makes total sense that we would have those fears, given that we live in a culture that still believes in behaviourism.

What I love about attachment play is that EVERY time we choose to play it, we are saying NO to behaviourism, and YES to heart-ism (I just made that term up, as you can probably tell!)

We are saying NO to behaviourism:

No to the belief that our child is naturally uncooperative;

No to the belief that he has to be taught to be loving;

No to the belief that he enjoys doing things that he knows we don’t enjoy;

No to the belief that he’s doing whatever he’s doing deliberately to hurt us.
 

And we are saying YES to heartism:

Yes to the belief that her true nature is to cooperate;

Yes to the belief that her true nature is loving;

Yes to the belief that she doesn’t enjoy doing things that she knows we don’t enjoy;

Yes to the belief that she’s doing whatever she’s doing because she needs our help.

Every time we can choose attachment play, we are standing in alignment with our beliefs about human beings.
 

AND sometimes that can be really hard.

Many of us didn’t grow up experiencing attachment play.

Many of us had busy or preoccupied or upset parents who didn’t play with us as much as we wanted.

And that can make practicing attachment play hard.

That’s why I love having reminders and encouragement. Because attachment play isn’t something that I find easy to be doing all of the time!

That’s why I’m doing another live round – partly because I need inspo and motivation and reminders to do attachment play!

I’ve been sharing memes daily on FB, and every time I make one, it fires me up to be goofy and silly with my kids:
 

These pics are all screenshots of videos from the course!

So what I hope is that this email will remind you, inspire you, encourage you to do more attachment play with your child/ren.

I wonder if you have something that you want to be working on using attachment play with your child?

Perhaps they have feelings around going to daycare or school and you want to play some separation games with them.

Perhaps they are trying to do attachment play before sleep, to help them release feelings, and you’re ready to join in.

Perhaps they’ve acquired fears around dogs and you’d like to help them heal with power-reversal games.

Maybe you’d like to take a moment now and make a commitment to yourself to help your child with something specific with attachment play.
 

For me, it’s helping my son around his restricting food, and I’m using power-reversal games and nonsense play to do that.

And I want to remind you of my mantra and motto for attachment play – tomorrow is a new day.

I use that if I don’t do any attachment play, and I really wanted to. I remind myself that each new day is a new start!

And if you want to join in with the attachment play course, I’d love to see you there. The no-quite-so-early-bird finishes tonight, Sydney time, at 8pm, and the course starts on the 20th.

You can find out more HERE.

I did a FB live on attachment play last night – you can watch it by going to my Marion Rose, Ph.D., Mothering Mentor page, by clicking on the image below:
 

And due to popular demand, I’m opening the doors of my 9 month Aware Parenting Instructor Mentoring Course for two weeks, for a start on the 1st of December. 

The next round won’t be until the 1st of March next year.

If you want to find out more, click on the image below: