Hello!

In a couple of my courses I’ve been talking about the power of really deeply trusting our own timing, and the timing of our children,

and there have been so many resonant responses, that I want to write about it to you here.

Our culture doesn’t generally support the natural unfolding of a human being.

Our culture tries to get babies to be independent, children to hurry up and read and write and leave behind ‘childish’ ways and “use their words”. 

Adults are told they “should” be faster or more competent or more successful or have more money or more followers or more subscribers or clients.

But the soul has its own timing.

If we were to try to rush the blooming of a rose, we would probably destroy its beautiful petals, or lose some of the richness of its colour.

Expecting ourselves and our children to be further along than we are brings pain and suffering.

If your toddler is learning to walk, I imagine you would celebrate her joy, not be frustrated and tell her that she should really be running by now.

If your baby is learning to sit, you are probably feeling excited and happy, not thinking that she should already be standing.

 

And yet, how often do you do that to yourself? 

How often do you judge your parenting, thinking that you ‘should’ know more or be more evolved?

How often do you treat yourself harshly over something you have or haven’t done?

Have you recently told yourself you should be further along in a project, career, hobby, or interest?

What does it do to your heart and soul when you do that to yourself?

 

And what about your baby, child or teen?

Is society telling you that your baby should be able to sleep alone already?

Are people telling you that your toddler should be more social?

Are members of your family saying that your child should be in full-time school by now?

Have you heard others saying that your daughter should be having sleep overs at her age?

 

The list goes on:

Is the baby “on time”, or “early” or “late?”

Is their speech is developed enough yet?;

Can they read and write yet?

Are they doing a team sport?

Is she interested in boys yet?

Has he hit puberty?

Does he know what he wants to do for a living?

Our culture has forgotten that the soul has its own timing.

My greatest teacher in this has been my daughter.

It started from her birth. She took 86 hours in posterior position to be born. Luckily I was a Hypno-Birthing Instructor and was calm and trusting of my body and her throughout our (mostly) unassisted birth.

And from then on, she’s been teaching me about the power of taking our own time with things.

As a small child, she would observe and wait before going on a slide.

She started ballet classes at just before 3, and for about the first year wanted me to take part in every class. And I did.

 

 

If she has a wobbly tooth, she will have it wobbling for months and months.

She is extremely comfortable with taking her own time.

And I didn’t ever push her, or try to get her to be faster than she was.

Now, at 14, she LOVES going on high rope walks in the forest,

She has no nerves at big ballet performances or exams,

 

 

She is deeply connected with herself and what she wants and doesn’t want.

She’s taught me the beauty and grace of trusting our own pace.

And I’ve learnt to trust my own pace too.

I used to be the “youngest” at doing things;

for example, I was the youngest person to get my Psychosynthesis Psychotherapy qualification (at 28).

And of course, some of us might have timing that is quicker than others.

We might be told that we are “too young” or “too fast” – which can also invalidate the soul’s timing.

And now I find I’m often one of the”older” people at doing things;

I’ve started learning about online courses, business, design, and entrepreneurship and I’m now 48.

But if I look back at my life like I look at my daughter’s, I see the divine timing in it all.

I needed time to gradually learn to free myself from the shackles of self-judgment;

I needed years to learn what really giving empathy and compassion was;

I needed plenty of experience of being a mother;

I needed to flourish and ripen and bloom.

And I see the perfection in the timing.

I am exactly where I need to be!

 

 

I wonder if any of this resonates for you.

Is there anything in your life that you’re telling yourself that you ‘should’ be further ahead with, more competent at, or at a different place with?

And if so, would you like to respond differently to yourself?

And what about your child/ren? Is there anything that you are believing they ‘should’ be further ahead with, more competent, more advanced in?

And if so, how would you like to treat them instead? What would you like to say to them? What do you want to do?

The soul has its own timing.

I’m loving the journey of increasingly honouring exactly where I am, what I’m doing, how old I am, and who I spend my time with.

I wonder if you saw my birthday and new site sale? It’s on for a couple more days.

 

Love,

 

Marion 

xxx