Last week I got flooded by feelings of terror.

What’s my definition of flooding?

It can often be when very old and big feelings from the past come up in the present AND

either we don’t have enough sense of emotional support – a sense of someone being with us, who knows that we are safe even though we are feeling really big feelings.

And/or the present situation is so similar to the past situation so that we aren’t able to see that these feelings are from the past, and we believe that the full intensity of the feelings are about now.

What’s the difference between being flooded in feelings compared to floating in feelings?

Well, when we’re floating in feelings, we have enough of a sense of connection and support, either from someone else, or from our Inner Loving Crew,

AND although the present situation is similar to the past painful situation, we know that we safe and that the intensity of the feelings comes from the past rather than the present.

Usually, when very big old feelings come up for me, I have my Inner Loving Crew there to support me.

And because I do a morning practice of connecting with my ILM every morning when I first wake up, there is a general sense of being supported.

And usually, when very big old feelings come up, I know that they are from the past, and it’s only that the present situation is helping me connect with them – I know that the present situation isn’t actually as painful as the original one.

So why did I get flooded last week?

The first is that I stopped doing my ILM morning practice. Just when I most needed it. (It’s a long story as to why!!)

The second is that the situation that happened, which was around EMF and our electricity smart meter, really did feel dangerous in exactly the same way as the original painful experience was.

So, there wasn’t enough distancing for the feelings to be healing.

And there wasn’t enough inner support to protect me from being flooded.

So what did I do? I reached out for help from a colleague I know who I know is very familiar with early trauma, and asked for her help.

And as soon as she connected with me, I could feel the terror subsiding to a level where I could be floating in it rather than flooded in it, and could then be with it in a way that was healing.

(I’m going to be sharing about this colleague again soon, because I really recommend her work.)

How is this relevant for our children?

Well, it’s all about the balance of attention, in Aware Parenting.

Whenever our child is in a big sweet spot from the past, we can help them most by:

Giving our loving presence and connection and letting them know that we are there with them, that we can stay present with them during this big feeling, and giving them that sense that we aren’t scared of those feelings.

Keeping that balance of attention so that they stay connected enough with the feelings to be floating in them rather than coming out to the shore, and connected with them enough so that they don’t feel flooded.

Keeping in mind the balance of attention I think is such a helpful thing.

The other thing to be aware of is not to fall in the water with them.

In my Aware Parenting Virtual Village I go into all of this in depth.

If our child is floating in feelings, and we have a similar sweet spot, and we fall into the feelings too, then we may find it hard to hold that inner sense that they are safe and that we are comfortable with the feelings.

If we fall in the feelings ourselves, then there’s no-one holding on to the side of the pool!

That’s why doing our own inner work is so important.

The more we can be with our own feelings without getting flooded, the more we will be able to help our children when they are in big feelings.

In the AWPVV I have the metaphor of being on the side of the swimming pool, perhaps with our legs in the water, being empathic, but being aware enough of solid ground so that we can hold a safe space to reach out and hold our child’s hand whilst she is in the water, so that she can float in safety.

The Aware Parenting Virtual Village can be a helpful intermediate before going on to do the Aware Parenting Instructor Mentoring Course.

If you want to find out more about the AWPVV, click on one of the memes below!

Next in the smorgasbord is the Aware Parenting Instructor Mentoring Course! YAY!!!

I dreamt of creating this course for years.

I worked with so many mothers who were passionate about Aware Parenting and who wanted to become instructors, and who wanted extra support – support for really diving deep into Aware Parenting; support for healing their sweet spots that came up as they thought about becoming an instructor and sharing their gifts with the world, support with their own parenting, and support with knowing what a consultation looks like. As well as practical things like using Canva and setting up MailChimp.

This is the third year of running my AWPIMC and it has been such an honour for me to walk alongside so many people who are so passionate about Aware Parenting and who want to share it with more people, and to offer others the support that is so important on the Aware Parenting journey.

The doors are open again now, for a March 1st start.

CLICK HERE or on the image below to find out more:

I want to make clear, in case you didn’t know, that this doesn’t certify you to be an Aware Parenting Instructor.

The certification requirements are HERE.