Hello!
I usually cut my own hair.
I love the ease of not needing to book an appointment, or go anywhere.
I love the spontaneity of wanting it cut, and doing it then and there.
I love that I do it exactly how I like it.
But yesterday, I suddenly had a desire to have someone else cut it for me. I enjoyed the thought of a head massage and sitting in a chair and having it done for me.
And I connected with my WILLINGNESS to receive that.
I was driving near an organic hairdresser, so I stopped the car, went in, and they had an appointment 5 minutes later.
And I really enjoyed the experience.
And I really enjoyed how my hair looked and felt afterwards.
Often I like doing things myself. I like autonomy and ease and self-responsibility and choice and listening to myself and trusting myself.
For example, I love unassisted birth, homeschooling, cutting my own hair, and creating my own websites.
AND at times, I love receiving support in these places.
For example, during my pregnancies, I loved receiving loads of bodywork, cranio-sacral sessions, acupuncture, and much more!
And last year I was really needing, and willing to receive help with our homeschooling registration, and so I had regular sessions with Tamara Kidd, which transformed my experience of registration and gave me SOOO much trust in our natural learning journey.
Yesterday, I loved having my hair cut.
And when I need help with my websites, I love reaching out and receiving support.
What I love is the ability to CHOOSE between these two – between doing things myself and receiving support.
At times, I’ve needed to do inner work so that I’ve felt comfortable with receiving support.
Experiences from our pasts can get in the way of both doing things ourselves and receiving support.
What I love about the Inner Loving Presence Process is that it’s a healing process that each person can do within themselves.
AND it’s something that can be done with the help of others.
To me, the wonderful thing is the capacity to choose.
I was involved in paradigms in the past where it was easy for ‘clients’ to give their power away to the ‘healer’ and to believe that healing could only come through another.
I believe that each of us has the power to heal, to grow and to learn what we need to know.
AND that at times, we all need support, compassion, community, empathy, from others.
The key is having BOTH available, so that we can choose.
The other thing about the haircut was another apparent continuum between self-acceptance and shining.
When I first started making videos for my online courses, I bought a really expensive Canon camera. I would spend ages doing make up and choosing an outfit. I’d clean the area in the house where the video was being set.
I often felt very stressed.
As I did more and more videos, and developed my relationships with my Inner Loving Crew, I chose ease.
I got rid of the camera, which took amazing videos but which was highly convoluted to use, and now I just use my iPhone.
I stopped wearing make up (I often had red lipstick on my teeth).
And as those of you who’ve done my online courses know, in the winter I show up to my FB lives in my dressing gown!
I’ve found a deep deep unconditional acceptance of myself, which includes how I look.
And yet, I see that sometimes, NOT doing things to enhance how I look or what a video looks like, can also come from other places in me, such as parts that don’t want to shine, or are afraid or jealousy or being hurt.
I always remember learning from a mentor that we cannot tell the state of consciousness behind an action.
For example, we might choose to eat gluten-free and refined-sugar-free diet.
That might come from a place of deep love for our bodies, and a willingness to nourish ourselves, listen to ourselves, and care for ourselves.
But equally, the choice may come from self-judgments, comparisons, have-to’s or shoulds.
And I believe that the consciousness with which we do something has a huge influence on us and the outcome of our actions.
Making choices from a place of self-compassion, self-care, self-nourishment and self-listening, I believe is very different from making choices from a place of self-judgment, self-negation, self-harshness, and self-ignoring.
And it is my PASSION to help inspire, encourage and support women to gradually get free from a harsh inner dialogue, and replace it with one full of care, love, compassion, trust and encouragement.
This is me living my life’s purpose.
To help more and more women free themselves from the prison of self-judgment, shame, guilt and self-harshness, to the freedom of true self-love.
(It’s the same reason I am passionate about parenting – because I want us to help bring up a generation of human beings that love themselves and others unconditionally and are free to trust themselves and do what they are here to do).
I wonder if you resonate with any of this?
Do you love doing things yourself? And is that mostly because you love self-responsibility and self-trust and ease, yet does that ever come from a fear or unwillingness to receive support?
Do you love getting support? And is that mostly because you love receiving help and having connection, and does it ever come from a fear around doing something for yourself?
Do you love being yourself, and showing up exactly as you are? And is that mostly because you love yourself unconditionally, and does it ever come from a fear of what might happen if you shone even more brightly?
Do you love making an effort with your appearance? And is that mostly because you love celebrating yourself and how you look, and does it ever come from judging yourself about how you look?
I invite you to love yourself more and listen to yourself more in all of this.
If you want to do something yourself, I encourage you to go ahead and do it!
If you want support, I invite you to see if you’re willing to receive it!
If you want to show up exactly as you are, I celebrate you and invite you to do that!
And if you want to make an effort with your appearance, I celebrate you and say YAY!
The key is listening to ourselves, and what we want and don’t want in any moment.
Sometimes we want to do it ourselves, and sometimes we want support.
Sometimes we want to just show up as we are, and sometimes we want to enhance how we show up.
And it’s similar with our children. Sometimes they want to do it themselves, and sometimes they want support.
Sometimes they might want to hang around the house all day in their pyjamas. Other days they might want to put on their favourite outfit.
The more we support them to listen to themselves, and the more we respond accordingly, the more they will stay connected with what they want when they want it!
And yes, I have some free and paid resources around this.
There’s the Inner Loving Presence Process ebook, which explains how our other relationships with our parents, siblings, teachers and partners get internalised and affect how we respond to our feelings and needs, and what our inner dialogue sounds like.
You can sign up for that HERE.
I have the first 5 days of the Inner Loving Presence Process Course available as a Taster.
You can sign up for that HERE.
I have a $6 Inner Loving Mother, Outer Loving Mother ebook, which gives examples of responding lovingly to ourselves in various situations, and to our children in corresponding situations.
You can sign up for that HERE.
And if you want to find out more about the Inner Loving Presence Process Course, which starts on Tuesday, you can do that HERE.
Love,
Marion
xxx