Over the past few weeks, I’ve received quite a few questions from people about The Marion Method. The two main questions have been about differentiating The Marion Method from Aware Parenting, and what I request of people if they want to share The Marion Method with others.
I saw this as a powerful Message from Life to clarify what The Marion Method is, how it is different from Aware Parenting, and what I ask of people who are wanting to share information or practices about The Marion Method.
This is apt timing, as I’m writing The Wonder of Willingness, am about to open The Marion Method Membership, and will be offering the third intake of The Marion Method Mentoring Training this year.
My commitments as an Aware Parenting instructor
As an Aware Parenting instructor, I have made an agreement with the Aware Parenting Institute and Aletha Solter, PhD, that I will not combine Aware Parenting with any religious belief system, or with other theories, practices, or techniques. The Aware Parenting Institute has no religious or spiritual beliefs or affiliations and it does not take any official position on personal health decisions or moral issues.
Aware Parenting instructors are certified by Aletha Solter to only give parenting advice and support. They need other credentials or certifications to do therapy with either adults or children.
I aim to always make it clear when sharing about The Marion Method (MM) that the MM philosophies and approaches are not part of Aware Parenting. For example, I have separate pages on my website about Aware Parenting and The Marion Method, and separate Instagram accounts. If I share about The Marion Method on The Aware Parenting Podcast or in sessions, workshops, or anywhere else relevant to Aware Parenting, I aim to always indicate that it is The Marion Method and is not Aware Parenting.
My request to you: If you ever see or hear something from me and aren’t clear whether I’m talking about Aware Parenting or The Marion Method, please tell me.
Before I share in detail about the differences between The Marion Method and Aware Parenting, I will share a summary of Terms and concepts from The Marion Method that are NOT used in Aware Parenting.
Terms and concepts from The Marion Method that are NOT used in Aware Parenting:
Soul
Reparenting
Re-culturing
Inner children
Reparative phrases
Messages from Life
Conversations with Life
Listening to our yeses and noes
Disconnected Domination Culture
Love-Needs, Will-Needs, Love-Hurts, Will-Hurts
Needs-feelings, Healing-feelings, Thoughts-feelings
Inner Loving Presences (Inner Loving Mother, Inner Loving Father, Inner Best Friend, Inner Beloved)
The Marion Method
The Marion Method contains three parts: The Love Work, The Will Work, and Conversations with Life.
Within the Love Work there is the Inner Loving Presences Practice and The Inner Loving Presence Process.
Within The Will Work is The Willingness Practice, Yeses and Noes, and the Neo No.
These maps, practices, and processes are designed to support people to get freer from Disconnected Domination Culture conditioning and more deeply connected with their true Soul nature as loving and powerful beings, interconnected with all of Life, lovingly and willingly following their callings.
In The Marion Method there is a core concept that each being is a unique Soul whose true nature is Love, Will, and Consciousness.
The Marion Method is primarily a form of reparenting and re-culturing, and is such, is most relevant to adults, rather than children. However, it is a developmental model, which means that it includes a map of why what happens to us in childhood so deeply affects us in adulthood.
For example, in The Marion Method, both children and adults are seen to experience Love-Hurts and Will-Hurts: ways in which their Love-Needs and Will-Needs are not met. This affects the extent to which they feel loving and powerful.
The Marion Method, children, and parenting
In addition, there are a few key elements of The Marion Method that DO relate to children and parenting. These understandings are different to The Aware Parenting approach. I aim to not include those elements when I am sharing about Aware Parenting.
One of the main differences is that in The Marion Method, children are also seen as Messengers from Life. So, if I’m working with an adult on a Zoom call, supporting them with their own reparenting, and their child comes in and says something, I will ask them what the child says, believing from a Marion Method perspective that the child might be expressing a relevant message to the parent.
In The Marion Method, children are also seen as wise Souls who are on a parallel journey with us. They to invite us to become more who we really are, so that we can support them to stay connected with who they really are.
The Marion Method also includes the importance of accurate mirroring to supporting a child’s personality to be a clear reflection of their Soul. Reparenting includes understanding how as children, we needed to believe painful beliefs about ourselves in order to be safe, belong, or be loved. This is part of the process of our personality becoming a clearer reflection of our Soul.
These are all elements that I use in The Marion Method reparenting work and not as an Aware Parenting instructor.
Influences on The Marion Method:
Information from Aware Parenting has been one of the four key influences on The Marion Method.
In particular, Aware Parenting has deeply informed The MM in its philosophy of: the effects of trauma; thoughts, feelings, and needs as the true causes of behaviour, the healing power of tears and tantrums with the balance of attention; and control patterns.
These understandings all influence my work with adults.
However, when applying these principles to working with adults, I use Marion Method practices and processes.
Other influences on The Marion Method include:
Psychosynthesis by Roberto Assagioli:
The influences from Psychosynthesis include the concept of Love and Will as core elements of the Soul, and a psychospiritual lens and methodologies.
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) by Marshall Rosenberg, PhD:
The concept of the domination culture came from Marshall Rosenberg (and Walter Wink before him), as did asking the question: “are you willing?” The understanding of guilt as a feeling created by thoughts from cultural conditioning also came from NVC, as did the importance of differentiating between feelings that are caused by needs and those that are created by thoughts.
The Field Project by Philip Golabuk:
The importance of yeses and noes, and the effect of our willingness and not-willingness on what we experience in life was deeply influenced by The Field Project. The Willingness Practice was deeply inspired by The Decisive Question in Field theory.
I share more about these influences in my book, The Wonder of Willingness.
I brought together elements of these different philosophies, and with the inclusion of new emergent principles, created a map of human consciousness.
Practices in The Marion Method, and (where relevant) how they differ from Aware Parenting.
Language
In The Marion Method, there is a deep focus on language, (having been inspired by NVC), and an understanding that cultural conditioning is passed down via language.
In supporting people with The Marion Method, I will often point out elements of language that are part of DDC consciousness, and ask if the person would like to express what they’re expressing in loving and willing language instead. This is because that process can help us feel more connected with our true nature and centre of consciousness as a powerful and loving Soul.
In Aware Parenting, there is no set language, and there is not a focus on language. However, aspect two of Aware Parenting is non-punitive discipline and with that, parents are invited to avoid punishment, blame, shame, or other harsh words towards their children.
In The Marion Method, willingness language is used, which might include asking a child if they are willing to do something, or saying that we are not willing to do something.
In Aware Parenting, there is no set language for giving choices, nor in offering what Aware Parenting terms a ‘limit’ or a ‘loving limit’.
Differentiating out types of feelings
In The Marion Method, there’s the concept of three types of feelings: needs-feelings, healing-feelings, and thoughts-feelings. This is not a part of Aware Parenting.
However, I do include the differentiation of crying into indicating either needs-feelings or healing-feelings in my trilogy of Aware Parenting books.
Those are not Aware Parenting terms or concepts. Aletha Solter, PhD refers to what I call needs-feelings and healing-feelings as the two reasons for crying.
Guilt
In The Marion Method, parental guilt is perceived as a thoughts-feeling, i.e. created by thoughts from particular cultural conditioning. This is not the understanding of the cause of guilt in Aware Parenting.
Practices that are a part of The Marion Method for reparenting and re-culturing include:
Loving phrases: these are particular phrases that our inner children can receive in the process of reparenting. Those same phrases might be expressed to outer children.
Reparative phrases: these are particular phrases that are antidotes to charged phrases, or painful feelings, to our inner children.
The term reparenting and re-culturing are both specific to The Marion Method and are not used in Aware Parenting.
The Inner Loving Presences, and the practice of connecting with them (including our Inner Loving Mother, Inner Loving Father, Inner Best Friend and Inner Beloved) are from The Marion Method.
Connecting with our yeses and noes as adults is specific to The Marion Method.
The Marion Method doesn’t just include reparenting. It also includes other elements such as working with Inner Loving Money, Psychospiritual Entrepreneurship, and Conversations with Life.
Copyright requests:
Links: I am willing for you to share links to my website, social media, podcasts, and books.
My website: Everything on my website is copyrighted. If you want to republish any of the material from my website, please ask me if I am willing for you to do that before going ahead with republishing anything. If I say yes, please include the following information: Copyright © [included the date] by Marion Rose, PhD. www.marionrose.net
Excerpts from my books and articles: I am willing for you to quote up to three sentences from my books and articles. Please include my name, my title, the title of my article or book, and the copyright date.
Selling my copyrighted material: If you want to sell my copyrighted work, such as part of a course or in a publication, please contact me to see if I am willing for you to do that and what I may ask for in return.
I ask that people only share about, teach, or facilitate The Marion Method practices and processes if they have completed The Marion Method Mentoring Training and have certified as Marion Method Teachers. For those certified, I ask if they share any course material or writings with me to check whether what they are teaching is in full alignment with The Marion Method.
If you want to share about The Marion Method and you are not certified as a Marion Method teacher, please contact me.
There will be another Marion Method Mentoring training in 2025. Please contact me if you want to be on the waiting list, or if you have any questions about The Marion Method, or which parts of my work are Aware Parenting and which are The Marion Method.
Much love,
Marion
xoxox