Were you on the look out for just the exact present for your child? How would you feel if you heard that you already have it, and that it didn’t cost anything? Surprised? Racking your brains? ……… It’s Your Presence!!!!
Babies and children thrive on connection with you. And the more present you are, the more they benefit. What does it mean, to be present with your child? It means that you are in the present moment with them. You are not filled with thoughts of what either of you should be doing, or judging them or yourself. You look in their eyes and see them as if for the first time. You experience them beyond who you think they are. Everything becomes clearer – you see details about them that you don’t usually notice. The air around the two of you is vibrant and alive, and expectant with possibility. Intimacy happens.
In order to allow more Christmas presence amongst the Christmas presents, here are a few suggestions;
First, be present with what is present – the sensations of your body, the sounds that you hear, the movement of your breathing. Give time to open to this.
Second, create regular Present Time with your child – a set amount of time where you are just being with your child, and let them take the lead in terms of what happens. Your child experiences that empathic connection of being truly seen. Practiced regularly, he shows more and more of who he is. He feels more comfortable to show you his painful feelings, as well as his joy. Trust between you deepens.
Third, when you sense yourself reacting to something that your child is doing that feels much stronger than the situation warrants, slip into presence. Be curious about what will emerge when you do this….. You may be surprised at the gifts you receive.
Enjoy the festive season!
Published as an edited version in Injoy Magazine – Feb/March 2009