Hi Marion
I have been reading your article Understanding Children’s Feelings and it has elucidated my own need to express feelings with crying or at least, talking.
I can totally recognize in myself my unexpressed emotions causing lack of sleep, irritability, frustration, anger, tantrums, pushing my boyfriend away….the below paragraph describes it perfectly.
“Seeing the difference that crying makes
Some parents choose to have a daily time for release, others wait until the “big explosion” comes along. I prefer to support my nearly three year old daughter to vent her feelings daily, often in the evening before she goes to sleep. When she doesn’t have a cry for three or four days, she starts showing that she has unexpressed feelings. She takes a long time to go to sleep even when she is tired, and moves a lot during the night. During the day she seems agitated, gets easily frustrated, and avoids being close. On the other hand, when she has a cry every day or two, she easily goes to sleep lying beside me when she is tired, is relaxed throughout the night, and happy and alert during the day. She concentrates for long periods and enjoys cuddles and closeness. Time and again the differences reassure me that crying in my arms contributes significantly to her daily wellbeing.”
Anyway, I am not 2 years old or 2 months old, but the same things work for me in these instances. I take some time to share with my boyfriend, mostly with a good cry and am held in safety and I usually feel brilliant afterwards, am no longer angry, can receive love and sleep brilliantly!!
So, I am not with child, but I am 100% certain that what you write about is correct because, at 32, I am living proof that emotions do need release and need to be received in a safe and loving space.
Thanks for the insight into the need to cry.
Caroline (an eternal child and thankful for it) J
P.S. I am a Massage Therapist in Melbourne.
I actually massage babies (along with adults) and am trying to educate parents about the importance of massage techniques that facilitate release.
I use Myofascial release and Craniosacral therapy and am ‘present’ with the infants during their ‘unwinding’ as it is called. This can include sudden crying, wriggling and muscle release.