Hello!

And she said to that much younger me things like, “Oh my darling, I really hear how much shame and guilt you feel. I hear how much you’re telling yourself that the flirting was wrong and hurtful. And what I hear, sweetheart, is that you are feeling confused. You don’t know what to do. You don’t need to judge yourself any more. You don’t want to act in this way. I hear how confused you are feeling. How much things don’t feel right any more. You have such different life values to him, and yet you don’t want to let go, because of that deep love between you. You wouldn’t be feeling attracted to this other boy if everything was going well with him. I love you unconditionally. I see how you have been punishing yourself here. Come and let me hold you, and let those tears out. You can stop punishing yourself now. You have been paying for this for a long time.”

I could really feel how, at a deep underground level, I have indeed been punishing myself all this time.

And after my ILM loved me like this, when she asked me whether there was something I wanted to say, and something I wanted to hear, there followed a beautiful dialogue with my then-boyfriend. It was all about acknowledging each other and that amazing love that we had had, and letting each other be free. I found it so deeply touching. He told me that he wanted me to experience that kind of love again, but also with the matching values too this time!

This feels like a really big one for me.
 

I remember learning many years ago about forgiveness.

But for me, the concept of forgiveness means also believing that someone has first done something wrong.

And beliefs in wrongness tend to lead to shame, guilt and anger.

What I love about this process is that it looks underneath the guilt and shame, to discover exactly WHY we did what we did.

If I had known what I know now about feelings and how to express what’s going on for me, and how to respond compassionately to others, I would not have done what I did then. But I was young. I didn’t know how to talk to him about what was going on. And my Inner Loving Mother has infinite compassion for that young self that I was.
 

Do you resonate?

Do you sense that there is something from your past that you have been carrying guilt, shame or self-judgment about for many years?

Perhaps you were an older sibling and at times you used your greater power over your younger sibling?

Perhaps you were part of a gang at school who excluded others?

Perhaps you treated a friend or boyfriend or girlfriend in ways that didn’t meet your values?

And if so, do you sense that because of that, you’ve been not letting yourself have the friendships or partnerships that your heart has been longing for?

What would your Inner Loving Mother, with her infinite compassion, say to that younger part of you?

Are you willing to hear her?
 

And if you want to join together with a group of other women connecting with their Inner Loving Crew and creating more self-compassion for themselves, then the ILPP course is still open. The live round starts tomorrow.

I am so incredibly and deeply touched to read the messages I am receiving every day about this process.

One of the emails yesterday was from Pip, who said, “I just wanted you to know that I love what you do and give to me and the world…. You have changed my life. I have spent many years of my life thinking I need fixing. I have been to counselling, naturopaths, homeopaths, massage therapists… and interestingly, all women therapists….I think I have been searching for someone to take care of me, like a Mother… And now I know I can find her inside of me… my ILM. Just like Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man and the Lion… everything I’ve been searching for, has been mine all along…. Big love to you, dear Marion.”
 

You can connect with your Inner Loving Mother, Inner Loving Father, Inner Best Friend and Inner Beloved yourself. That is the whole point – this process is Self-guided.

What the course helps with is specific ideas of how you can do that and specific practices through which you can receive help from your Inner Loving Crew.

You also get to receive unconditional love, compassion and empathy in the FaceBook group, and receiving this from the outside can really help in the process of internalising it and giving it to yourself.

And you also get lots of emails from me, which can help encourage you to keep on going, especially if there are times when you don’t seem to feel your ILC, or you want to tell them to go away!

Whether you’ve already joined the course, whether you are thinking of it, whether you don’t feel called and aren’t planning to ever do it, I want to pass on my love to you. 

I believe that each of us can love EVERY part of ourselves, even and especially the parts that have acted in ways that were hurtful for others.

I love that sense of, bit by bit, bringing each and every part of us, each and every feeling, back home to our Selves!