Have you ever wondered what Aware Parenting instructors know and understand in order to mentor parents?
If so, I invite you to read on:
A DEEP UNDERSTANDING OF THE PHILOSOPHY OF AWARE PARENTING:
We have a deep understanding of all of the philosophy of Aware Parenting, in each of the three aspects:
attachment-style parenting;
non-punitive discipline (understanding why children act as they do and how to support change at the root cause, with compassion and connection);
the prevention of stress and trauma where possible, and the cooperation with children’s innate healing responses of crying and raging, laughter and play, and talking.
A DEEP UNDERSTANDING OF THE PRACTICES OF AWARE PARENTING:
This includes:
searching for underlying needs;
finding ways for parents and children to both get their needs met;
finding the true cause of a behaviour and responding there;
mediation between children;
family meetings;
crying in arms for pre-mobile babies;
supporting crying and tantrums;
offering loving limits in response to aggression and suppression;
noticing and responding to invitations for attachment play;
offering attachment play as a preventative and a healer for specific traumatic experiences;
knowing which kind of attachment play helps with which kind of situation;
how to support self-connected eating, learning, healing, play, and sleep; and
supporting easeful sleep with secure attachment.
READING THROUGH A PRE-CONSULTATION QUESTIONNAIRE AND BEING ABLE TO SEE WHAT IS GOING ON FOR A CHILD AND A PARENT
When we read through a questionnaire, or a post on an Aware Parenting group, or talk with a parent, we’re picking up on patterns, information, and words they use to work out what might be going on for their child and themselves, and what they might need to bring about what it is they’re wanting in their family.
We are seeing things that people not trained in Aware Parenting would probably not see.
EMBODIED EXPERIENCE, EITHER AS A PARENT PRACTICING AWARE PARENTING, OR IN WORKING WITH PARENTS AND CHILDREN
The majority of Aware Parenting instructors are parents who have lived and embodied experience of practicing Aware Parenting.
Those who are not parents have experience in working with parents and children.
This gives us deep understanding of how nuanced the practice of Aware Parenting can be, and how hard it can be to practice at times, especially in this culture without much support.
And also because we are changing our own cultural conditioning, finding ways to meet our own needs, and having our own feelings from the past coming up to be heard at the same time.
DEEP COMPASSION FOR PARENTS AND LISTENING TO THEIR FEELINGS
We’re passionate about listening to all the painful feelings of babies, children, and teens, and we’re passionate about listening to the painful feelings of adults, too.
Which is why we offer deep compassion and presence to parents when they’re sharing their uncomfortable feelings.
These feelings might be the result of changing cultural beliefs (which can be really uncomfortable); tending to our relationship with our needs; and having our own painful unexpressed feelings from our infancy, childhood, and teen years coming up in the parenting journey.
Most instructors are also parents who have been through challenges in their own parenting journey, which means we know first-hand how painful and hard parenting can be in this culture, and you’re likely to experience the embodied compassion we offer you as a result of this.
OFFERING INFORMATION RATHER THAN TELLING PARENTS WHAT TO DO
Because Aware Parenting is so much about trusting the innate wisdom of children, and about supporting their needs, including for agency and choice (which you’ll see in practices that include self-connected eating, learning, and sleep), this also affects how we are with parents.
Just as we’re inviting parents to refrain from telling children what to do, and not to shame or punish them but to respond from connection and compassion, Aware Parenting instructors deeply trust the innate wisdom of parents too. We’re aiming to offer information with compassion and respect, supporting parents to make their own choices in what they do in their parenting practice.
SUPPORTING PARENTS TO BE THE OBSERVER AND EXPERIMENTER
This is something I’m particularly passionate about supporting parents with.
Rather than telling parents to trust what we tell them, once I offer information, I invite them to listen to their own body sense of whether that information resonates with them, and if it does, to experiment with it, and observe their child.
It’s really only through that observation that a parent can receive the reassurance that these practices do what we say they do.
OFFERING INFORMATION SO THAT PARENTS ARE LEAST LIKELY TO THINK THEY ARE BEING JUDGED
We’re offering information so that parents know that we aren’t judging them or their parenting, and that we have deep compassion for how hard parenting can be, and what they’ve been through in their own parenting journey.
BEING ABLE TO SEE WHETHER A PARENT MOST NEEDS INFORMATION, SUPPORT TO GET THEIR NEEDS MET, OR THEIR OWN FEELINGS HEARD
Each parent is unique and each consultation, session, and conversation is different.
Some parents at some times may really be needing clarity and understanding. We will know that this is a time to offer them clear and concise information about what is really going on for their child.
Others might have chronic unmet needs for support We might be listening to them and helping them see how important their needs are in and of themselves, and because they profoundly affect how they are with their children.
Others at other times may have painful feelings bubbling up, for example, in relation to their here-and-now parenting, or to how they’ve parented in the past, or because they are simply overwhelmed by feelings that need to be expressed, or because feelings from their own childhood are bubbling to the surface.
Here, our role as instructors is to listen and offer compassion. (Unless we are trained in other modalities that support healing from childhood trauma, we are simply offering a listening ear at these times).
We’ll be aiming to give a parent information when they need clarity, support for them to find ways to get their needs met when they need that, and empathy and listening to painful feelings when a parent needs to be heard.
There is so much more to being an instructor than this, but I trust that gives you a taster.
We all share a profound passion for Aware Parenting, for supporting families, and for sharing this incredible approach.
If you’re wanting to become an instructor in Australia, New Zealand, or Indonesia, or you’re in a country without a regional coordinator, I’m accepting applications for this year’s live round of my Aware Parenting Instructor Mentoring Course.
And if you’re an instructor-in-training, or about to be, or are already certified, and you’re wanting to take your next steps in making a living offering Aware Parenting, I’m about to open the doors for 1:1 Aware Parenting instructor mentoring.
I invite you to contact me if you’re interested in one or both of these.